The Joy and Wonders of Marketing online and offline

networking with people

Networking offline and online a pain in the neck most time. 90% of the time you try to figure out what people actually want and you have to invest time into every new contact as being polite is how I try to be.

However you don’t really waste time, it’s time invested in finding the right contact.

Most people want something without having to give anything back – even having to learn your name, PR people you are the worst – mostly they want time, and it’s most annoying that free advice is never respected, whilst very expensive advice is listened to with baited breath.

I love networking with Americans, they are more direct and have an increased expectation that networking is useful. The Brits tend to have a more moody disposition to connecting and helping each other out, and are much more comfortable muttering from the sidelines.

Although I’ve always found Italians excited and interested.

Sweedish tend to be looking into the middle distance wondering if there are bodies buried nearby.

OK, time to stop before we go through every national stereotype, and I have work to avoid today.

This stream of consciousness was brought to you by a nutty, Columbian coffee bean.


Online Life rules for the digital age


  1. Never buy a digital product that has palm trees in its marketing, unless it’s a “How to Grow your own Palm Tree”, book on Kindle.
  2. Interpret every mention of “Free” in online marketing as “time expensive”.
  3. Whenever you think someone is being rude to you online, simply pretend they have typed in error and are furiously trying to find the delete button which was swallowed by their one legged, pet Iguana. Ignore them until they have caught the pesky lizard.
  4. Remember that just because a social media avatar has two people in it, does not mean that the other person in the avatar wants to talk to you or shares your interest in collecting postcards of telegraph poles from 1931 to 1945.
  5. When someone asks you to do them a favour and yet have not tweeted your latest blog post, or liked it on Facebook, or +1’d in on G+. or pinned it on Pinterest, signed up to your email list, subscribed to you on Youtube, or connected with you on Linked in. Remember that the World does not revolve around you and just be grateful they added you to their 1,000 email list of people to “ask to do stuff for me”. And that one day it may be possible that they return the favour.
  6. Always be nice to the lonely guy with the minecraft and grammar obsession, who wants to chat about you about the “conspiracy”, he may have been hit hard in the head by a horse when but a small child and is slowly repairing cognitive ability by working in the public sector and eating dried monkey beans.
  7. Accept that some people have never heard the sound of a 14.4 khz modem dialing in on a free AOL CD, stolen from the front cover of Computer World magazine in WH Smith. And that someone who as only every experienced Broadband does not make a teenager instantly stupid.
  8. Understand that just because something gets your attention does not mean that it is Linkbait.
  9. Learn that someone who has spent the last ten years doing what you are doing may not consider that the 3 months you have been doing it qualifies you as an expert.
  10. Just because a US Corporation feeds it’s employees free M & M’s and offers free shiatsu massage, don’t expect that it wont eviscerate you with army of grey skinned, blood sucking, lawyers who sharpen their talons on the sun parched tarmac of the Death Valley highway.
  11. Image source

Why grow the food you eat?

Blackberry and Apple pie

The reason you should grow your own food to eat, is because it tastes better.
The pie above (and yes the photo could be better but we were too eager to eat the thing) was as local as it could get.

Blackberries from the garden
Apples from the tree in the garden
OK, frozen pastry from Sainsburys (c’mon gimme a break)

Made the best blackberry and apple pie I have ever tasted. Eating local food isn’t just for the hippy dippy types to drone on about at dinner parties. It really does make the food better.

You are only going to eat a finite number of pies before you die, so make everyone the best tasting you can. Growing your own food, making your own food really does taste better.

For more info on local food in Cornwall, check out:

There are many others and I will try to add to this list as I go.
Also, I am concentrating on Cornwall, because it’s where I live. Sharing information like this is what blogging is about, share the local foodie places in your area, drop them a link.

Why I don’t send you birthday wishes on Facebook

Birthday Cake

Social media birthday wishes. Megh!

If you follow 365 people on Facebook you probably have to wish someone a happy birthday every day, if that’s your thing. Conversely you should get 365 birthday wishes back, which you have to spend time reading.

If you need Facebook to remind you it’s my birthday you really don’t need to wish me a happy one. What’s that mean anyway, congrats for not dying this year. Well done for not getting taken out in a hit by an Albanian assassin sent by a Serbian arms dealer?

If the wishes were backed up with more than a few taps on a greasy keyboard, then maybe it would hold more water. Cash would be nice, for example. Instead of wishing someone a happy birthday, send them a Pound.

I remember when I worked in an office – shivers down the spine when I think of it – and every week was someones birthday, cake – always from the shop down the road – cards, thrown in the bin as soon as backs are turned. If the birthday cake had been a homemade, delicious carrot cake with just the right kind of frosting, maybe my views would be tempered somewhat.

Working in an office is an hellish experience – goat herding is much more pleasurable – and so the conscripts need to be injected with any kind of artificial, chemically flavour enhanced joy they can get.

But do we need birthday wishes from social media. I see others who get tons, but that seems to be paid with industrial sized networking with hordes of people who want a little nibble and if networking is your bag and you have a bag of bites to throw to the sweaty masses you should embrace the “birthday wish” with all the fakeness you can muster.

Don’t think I hate your existence if I don’t wish you happy birthday on Facebook, I’m a – giving it in real life kinda guy.

Image source

The Noname Diet


This is a huge comment I posted or actually have yet to post on a Facebook thread about Walnuts and Weetabix.

I went on a diet on Monday, or rather I entered a limited, conditioned behaviour breaking hacking mode. Not that I wish to detail my life online or fugue your vision with more personal affirmation type crap you constantly see on social media. But more of an experiment in content types and more importantly to keep my focus strong, defined and on target. Writing organises my thoughts, puts them in correct order, allows me to see the strands of causality running though my actions.

In a sense this is a what blogging was about, detailing stuff, recording stuff, ordering and categorising thoughts and actions into something that has a point.

Which is odd, because my business is all about attracting the audience. But the audience needs something real, something not processed by a slimy PR guy who thinks in terms of audience segmentation.

But relating this back to the stuff I teach at Linkbat, you need something personal to bash out on the keyboard to freshen up the writing brain. If you constantly write for clients and yourself you burn out. Which is what has happened this past year.

The well needs to be refilled regularly.

Here is the comment, or post from the thread on Facebook. And the reason I am posting it here is because I want to see if it indexes in Google before it does on Facebook.

“I totally get the Omega 3 thing and the good fat two step.

However, I am following a fat free diet (ok a 3% fat diet) for a specific reason which is to do with gallstones and the gall bladder.

I was totally into my Omega 3, however I would chase it down with nuttella/Dortio/DrPepper combo or whatever high sugar/high fat, squeezed out of the ass of some factory in New Jersey type grub.

My focus on fat free is to break the conditioned behaviour I have built up over 15 years in front of a computer monitor. I used to work from 6pm to 8 AM, fueled by 2 litres of Dr Pepper and a 6 pack of Tesco Chocolate muffins, which you can do in your 20’s and just about in your 30’s but not in your 40’s, as I am finding out.

Drinking a diet coke is not going to make me fat, but after a diet coke I want to balance out the sodium with sugar or fat, nnnnnggg.

And so, for this phase I am going brutal and evacuating years of pink slime from the tubes. I guess it’s a massive detox, although I think that word in inaccurate as your liver is constantly detoxing you, that’s what it does.

Todd, Julie Patricia, totally agree with you. Walnuts and oily fish etc. are essential for a balanced diet, except I am not on that type of diet right now. This is the nuclear, kill em all, take no prisoners, realignment on a fundamental level.

Jaqueline, Sarah, I agree with you. But only with regards to a regular, everyday diet. When you want something specific to happen you have to hack the diet and adapt it to your bodily needs and the result you want.

Gary, absolutely. My diet right now is mostly fruit, rice, chickpeas, tomatoes, Weetabix and the odd boiled sweet (Rhubarb and Custard). So pretty much going the non-processed route. I suppose Weetabix are somewhat processed, but the ingredients are as raw as you can get.

I haven’t given up milk or gluten, which may be an interesting experiment to do. I’m approaching this as I do other things. Ignore fashion, get obsessed, rely on the data, have specific objectives. I do find it interesting when the first thing people as is “what’s the diet called?” As if it’s a movie or a small child.

It should be defined by the objective and not a “pirmal brain” defined title.

And before the Walnut crowd rise up with bottles of rosemary infused walnut all to drizzel over my Weetabix, this is a time limited phase to break the cycle and break conditioned behaviour.

I write this not in expectation that it will all be read but to keep me on the wagon and focus my will power for the day.

It’s all mental.

But so far so good, started on Monday, dropped 4llbs and have a “running across a desert with a large stone on my back” energy. Which is having a huge effect on my word count I churn out each day.

It annoys me when comments become blog posts. I should post this elsewhere and get it indexed before I press post.”

Image sources 12

She Crushed the Tory MP with a Shocking Verbal Assault, but look at his face

Glenda Jackson MP

Glenda Jackson, MP for Hampstead and Kilburn, eviscerated the Minister for work and pensions, Iain Duncan Smith.

If you look closely you can see the moment the Minister’s skin moisture level increased and he had to shift in his seat as he got itchy.

Useful links
A New Weapon In Upworthy’s Unlikely War On Clickbait
Upworthy Wants You To Play By Its Rules
Upworthy’s unworthy politics
Time Spent Is the Metric of the Moment as Upworthy Opens Its ‘Attention Minutes’ Code
The existential question at the heart of Upworthy: Is viral clickbait okay if it brings attention to something worthwhile?

Is it better to know, or think you don’t know?


It’s good to know stuff and share with those who do not.

It’s helpful that people who know see advantage. not only in sharing with those who don’t know, but with sharing with those who appear to know but don’t know.

As long as you always think you don’t know, the need to know will always be active. When that is switched off we can never know what we don’t know and so knowing can mean knowing less than when you don’t know.

And with that, time for a spot of lunch.

Image source

High Frequency Trading Debate Continues

Evil ancestors of the dark art of High Frequency Trading conjour up dark machinations.

Does Michael Lewis simply just not get High Frequency Trading?

This video from Options trading expert, Tom Sosnoff of adds interesting perspective.

Charles Schwab has said, High-Frequency Trading a ‘Growing Cancer’ That Must Be Stopped. They seem a tad scared of the technology, perhaps they are wandering around their extremely expensively carpeted offices muttering, “These computers, why they are just evil”.

CNBC chose not to burn the witch, claming “High-frequency traders can’t front-run anyone
Great clip from CNBC with “William “Bill” O’Brien, the CEO of BATS, slammed Brad Katsuyama, the CEO and president of IEX, and author Michael Lewis.”

Read more:

It’s not that people are stupid, it’s that they are a sucker for a scapegoat.

Mark Cuban weighs in and says “the game is rigged so that the fastest,smart players are guaranteed to make money“. Do I even need to point out the obvious. Being smart gives you an edge, c’mon, gimme a break.

People, the media, book publishers, even Michael Lewis, loves a bogeyman. Watch out investors, the evil high frequency traders are out to get you and steal your money. All nonsense of course. It’s like saying that when traders installed the first electronic ticker tape machine they were stealing from honest traders who avoided such devlish machines.

I do not claim to be an expert in this field, but I know when someone is whipping up sensationalist stuff to sell some books and using the “traditional” part of an industry who are desperate to protect their turf.

I mean come on, would you really want to use Charles Schwab and the rest of them when you know they prefer to use slower, dumber, more ancient technology?

Why Tasty Trade does not Create Fans

CBOT Pic source

According to its strapline. Tasty Trade is a “real financial network”,

The reality is that it’s closer to being a huge “disruptor” in the financial investment space.

It’s a challenger to all those networks rooted in the old way of doing things, a rebel, an explorer, even an outlier.

It does not create fans, because it creates addicts. Once you watch, once you swallow the pill, there is no going back. It changes everything you ever thought about how financial investing should work.

If you are a retail investor, this is the network you want mainlining into your veins.

You will not go back to wall to wall, Bloomberg, CNBC, etc. after you have taken your hit of

I am no heavy hitter trader, at the most it’s a hobby. I have been trading for nearly two years now earning my chops, building my 10,000 hours if intense real life practice. I ingest as much as I can, aim to learn from those who have the thousand yard star of the battle scarred trader

Here is the thing about the presenters of all the Tasty Trade shows.

The all trade, and they all trade with their own money.

They are true experts in their field and over the range of the shows they put out each weekday, cover all types of trading styles. The emphasis, or the ethos is to get engaged, build confidence, trade small, trade often.

I’m not particularly into hero worship, but the two main guys who do the main show, Tom Sosnoff and Tony Battista have not only opened my eyes to the possibilities and realities of retail investing, but have made me laugh more than any professional comedy act this year and I am talking about filtered coffee through the nose, rib aching, aneurysm inducing laughter. And as an old comedy writer myself it takes a lot to impress me.

What they have on their opening hour is a perfect balance of broadcast entertainment and information. Vonetta Logan, who joins them in the first hour provides the down to earth, erudite, kick ass, compliment to the big beasts of Tony and Tom and does not hesitate to open a can of whoop ass when required. Which is usually every ten minutes of the show as ADD, egomania and “busting balls” kicks in. The opening show is heavily influenced by Howard Stern and in many ways is much more fun as it can improve your bottom line.

The mix of intense intelligence, honesty, domain expertise and a fantastic production team make this an absolute, essential place for you to go for investment advice and trading ideas. Yes, sometimes it’s like sipping from a fire hose and you have to give it time to figure out just exactly what it is, because it’s so huge and dense in information.

What could be done to improve the site is a big fat button saying, NEW HERE, CLICK THIS, which then takes you to a page giving you the 10 places of where to start. Organising the amount of content they produce into digestible bite sizes for noobs must be a huge task. It took me a week of watching before I finally got it, and learned how to get the most from it.

I may write up a noobs guide to Tasty Trade, as it would direct you to the places you need to go a lot quicker, although I have found the discovery aspect of digging into the site fascinating. They keep archived material going back a year or two, I’m not quite sure of the timeline. But it’s simply a master class in technical analysis, options trading, retail investing etc.

Although it does take some time to get what the network is really about and how to make it work best for you, my advice is stick with it as there is no other place on the planet that offers such in-depth advice, knowledge, real life examples etc. for the price it costs to access.

So how much is

This is the bit that’s insane, it’s free and there is no advertising of external products, only their shows. Which may be a bit nuts from a conventional business point of view, but I think this is killer point. Sure these guys are in it for the money, but they are truly passionate about what they do and it’s rare to find people at this level who are so generous and fun.

They do have a deal with Ameritrade to sign up with an account with them and they do have an iPad/iPhone app where you can track their real time trades, which is subscription based. But all the content you ever need is free to access.

I could write a few thousand words more about and what I have learned and how I have been entertained. But I am an addict, you need to see it for yourself. My advice is to login to the live, first hour which is at 1pm UK time, it’s pre-market for the US time zone and if you are like me and your day begins at 7 am trading the FTSE, it’s a nice way to get extra insight to how the day is going.

The other shows on the network worth watching are Shadow Trader, with Peter Reznicek and Brad Augunas from, Last Call, with Tim Knight from, Ask Slim, by veteran trader Steve Miller, The LIZ and JNY show with options traders, Liz and Jenny, who are very good at giving an introduction to options trading.

And yes, I am a full paid up addict of the Tasty Trade network.
I would go as far to say it’s actually worth to start trading just to appreciate the shows.

Interested to know what you think of the Network.