Why I don’t send you birthday wishes on Facebook

Birthday Cake

Social media birthday wishes. Megh!

If you follow 365 people on Facebook you probably have to wish someone a happy birthday every day, if that’s your thing. Conversely you should get 365 birthday wishes back, which you have to spend time reading.

If you need Facebook to remind you it’s my birthday you really don’t need to wish me a happy one. What’s that mean anyway, congrats for not dying this year. Well done for not getting taken out in a hit by an Albanian assassin sent by a Serbian arms dealer?

If the wishes were backed up with more than a few taps on a greasy keyboard, then maybe it would hold more water. Cash would be nice, for example. Instead of wishing someone a happy birthday, send them a Pound.

I remember when I worked in an office – shivers down the spine when I think of it – and every week was someones birthday, cake – always from the shop down the road – cards, thrown in the bin as soon as backs are turned. If the birthday cake had been a homemade, delicious carrot cake with just the right kind of frosting, maybe my views would be tempered somewhat.

Working in an office is an hellish experience – goat herding is much more pleasurable – and so the conscripts need to be injected with any kind of artificial, chemically flavour enhanced joy they can get.

But do we need birthday wishes from social media. I see others who get tons, but that seems to be paid with industrial sized networking with hordes of people who want a little nibble and if networking is your bag and you have a bag of bites to throw to the sweaty masses you should embrace the “birthday wish” with all the fakeness you can muster.

Don’t think I hate your existence if I don’t wish you happy birthday on Facebook, I’m a – giving it in real life kinda guy.

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